Your loss, not mine.

I felt a couple of extremely different feelings today. At first, I was excited, and then I went a little emotional, then I felt thankful, and I went back to being emotional and tired to a point where I'd just like to break down and cry. I really did felt like crying. Not to worry, I didn't shed a tear today, but I nearly did.

I'm not at a "fine" stage, and I'm not at a "bad" stage. Sometimes I'd end up at "great" stage, but usually I'd go back to somewhere in between "depression" and an "okay" stage.

People think I'm crazy for loving you, and for putting up with all your nonsense behaviour for so many years. Funnily I never thought of it as a flaw or burden. Maybe cause I was blinded by love. If I could turn back time and still have the memory of everything else that happened for the past three years, I'd probably had a hard time deciding if I should accept you into my life. I would probably accept anyways, but I'd leave you before you leave me, if I ever could bring myself to do that to you. Silly me would just let you hurt anyways, Haha!

Years ago you told me to never let you go no matter what, and I promised. I hold on to every word that you said until the day I was told that you don't have feelings for me anymore. I find no reason to keep that promise anymore as you don't even want to be with me anymore, and to make you happy, the only way would be to set you free and let you go.

Sometimes I think to myself, why is this break up any different that those we go through in the past? I didn't even beg for you to come back to me this time. Probably cause you told me you don't love me anymore, so begging you is not even an option. Knowing you so well, if I were to tie you up, you would be struggling even more to free yourself.

If you're mine, you'd be mine eventually. If you're not, then all the best to you. I'm sure you'd never find another stranger that love you unconditionally and would literally do anything for you, no matter what shit you put them through. It's your loss. Not mine.

I'll be alright when I wake up tomorrow morning. I just need a place pour all the negativity away.