Every drunk step I take leads me to her door

"...If she sees how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure"

Hmm, should I go visit Tiffie today? Actually it wasn't about the ang pao, I just wanted to visit her cause it's been a while since I last saw her -.- I actually received a HUGE ang pao from my dad yesterday. I went like "OMG!" when I saw the amount. That was how crazy it is.

I felt a lil sick at the moment ... Maybe I should go get some Panadol and stop all these crazy sickness before it ruined my CNY. 

My CNY usually consist of me hanging out at my ex's home (back when we're still together), and we'd go watch a movie or two at the cinema, and also visiting some of her childhood friends. This is like the first year I'm sitting in front of my own computer and actually updating my blog and staring at my Facebook. 

I never notice how much people spam messages about CNY on Facebook. Like seriously. Everybody would go "Happy Chinese New Year!!!" Along with all those nice wishes.  

As luck would have it, I forgot to silent my phone last night and TONS of messages got through and woke me up for a few minutes. Luckily I was able to silent off the phone and fall back asleep.

It's the first CNY that I'm not celebrating with my ex. It felt weird, like a part of me is missing. Oh well, you can't have everything. My ex helped me celebrate my birthday for the first time last year, even though we're together for almost 4 years, it was the first time ever she took the initiative to actually celebrate my birthday with me. This year, would officially be the year I'd celebrate CNY without her. It sucks, but it's life. 

She's probably the cruelest teacher in my life. When one of my BFF broke up with the girlfriend (now ex), he actually made sure that she's alright, and sit down with her and talk about it, and when they finally come to an agreement, they broke up ... peacefully. No arguing involved. What my ex did? We broke up and she refused to talk or discuss with me about anything. So there's actually no closure. I never got all the answers.

But hey, without my life cruelest teacher, I wouldn't be who I am today. I hated her, but I still love her with all my heart. Weird, right? I'm never gonna find the balance between hating her and loving her. It always comes together hand-in-hand. 

Sorry guys, I never meant to sound so emo during the first day of CNY :)

I hope everyone get lotsa ang paos and may the year of Dragon brings your luck, health, wealth and happiness!! ^^