You said move on, where do I go?

Woke up this morning feeling super dizzy. I can't get myself to walk properly, which means that I can't drive, so I took MC from work. fml. Anyways, my mum came home and I told her about it. I asked her to fetch me to the doctor and I took a nap while waiting for her to shower and get ready. I woke up about an hour later, and she's gone. wth. She left a note asking my younger sister to fetch me to the doctor. I really have an awesome mum.

Then when my younger sister finally wakes up ... it was like 11.30am ... when we're finally heading out to the doctor, she ask "You're driving right?" ... wth. So I was like, wtf?! If I can drive, I wouldn't have wait till 11.30 for someone to fetch me to the doctor.

Technically no one really cares anyways.

I was checking my Facebook this morning and came across some quote that my ex-lecturer shared on his wall. It says:

"I've always been afraid of losing people I love.
                                Sometimes I wonder, is there anyone out there that's afraid to lose me"

Honestly I felt that no one cares if I'm dead or alive cause no one is afraid of losing me. I think people might be sad and all, but no one is afraid of losing me as much as I'm afraid of losing them.

Sometimes I wish you'd just text or call me and tell me that you've been wrong all along, and letting me go was the worst decision you've ever done in your life. But knowing you so well, I know you'd never do that. I don't know what went wrong. You broke up with me, and move on with someone else 3 weeks later, and then broke up with that person, and coming back to me telling me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me, and 20 days later, you changed your mind about it. I really don't know what you want.


8 months later, I'm still dealing with the pain of losing you. You'd always tell me that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" whenever you had to fly back to Australia and I'm crying buckets, but I guess it doesn't work this way when it comes to our relationship ... being away from each other made your feelings towards me fade day by day. No matter how much effort I put into our relationship, nothing works.


I always thought that if I try my best, everything would be just fine, but I was wrong. Falling in love is by chance, staying in love is always by choice. You chose to not love me anymore. I was always there for you, and you took advantage of the fact. You knew that even if you let me go, I'd still be like a dog to you, sitting there waiting for you to come back to me. So you went out and venture, in hopes of finding someone better than me.


Let me tell you this. You may find someone you love, but you will never find someone that loves you as much as I do.