For the past years I was with someone who was barely there. Physically and sometimes, emotionally, I would say. Not that it's anyone's fault ...
and frankly, I reckon I've lose the ability to love or to even feel my heart. It seems like my heart has turned stone cold, and there's nothing I can do about it. I think the only feeling I'm very sure of, is being hungry, for food that is. The funny thing is that I'm hungry, but I never have the appetite to eat.
2011 is such a crazy year for everyone. It really is. I don't even know if I like the roller coaster ride its been giving me. It's like I don't even know how to cry and scream in a roller coaster ride anymore. I'm just sitting on the ride and spaced out.
Maybe I've developed a phobia ... maybe turning stone cold is a good thing ... so no one can ever hurt me anymore. Honestly, I would rather be alone than to hurt anyone else, cause I know how painful it is ... and I never want anyone to go through what I did, it's just cruel. Too cruel.
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