I need anger management

I was actually  lil' upset before I went to bed last night, that I wrote something on this blog.

THEN I deleted away after 30 minutes, after I've calm down and thought it through.

I feel like I needed to get it off my chest, and I did. I wrote a post and publish it, but manage to delete it before anyone else could see it. My point is, I just want to get it off my chest so I can sleep, I don't wanna hurt anyone's feeling, and I don't wanna hold grudge against anyone or anything before I go to bed. I've actually done it a couple of times and I got away almost everytime.

Too bad, cause I ended up dreaming about me going out of control, and started a screaming fest in my dream. I guess the anger never went away even though I shove it down my throat.

I dreamt about two of my best friends, and also a bunch of random people coming into my house ... then there's this guy, with his shitass face, wanted to smoke inside my house. I was so angry coz he proceeded to light up his ciggies near the front door of my house, refusing to go out.

I ended up kicking him outside of my house and locked the door. Then this girl, went along with this guy (I assume they are together or something) and went to the opposite house, everyone eventually followed them to the opposite house, but what made me angry was, I notice my Birkinstock sandal went missing after the commotion.

So I walked out of my house and start screaming at the bunch of people that gather outside of the opposite house, and they threw back to me what they *thought* was my Birkinstock sandal, but it wasn't. So I went on and start screaming on top of my lung and warning them to better hand in my expensive sandal or someone is gonna die soon.

I woke up from my dream soon after that. Feeling super angry and frustrated.

I remember my two best friends and my younger sis was looking at me getting furious and just shook their heads -.- Ok I know I need anger management.

I hate to be angry but yet I'm always provoked, even in my own dreams.


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On a lighter note (well not light la, but it's a super random topic)

Whenever my iPod is on shuffle mode when I'm driving, there'll always be songs that remind me of the people in my life, that creep up to me (I don't think I put this sentence correctly, but then again, I think you guys know what I meant)

There's this album by Jay Chou, I think it's called November's Chopin (十一月的蕭邦）that have all these songs .. most of them reminds me of high school ... and the history behind it is something I'm gonna keep to myself, just because it's a long and pathetic story. That is why I have a love-hate relationship with this album. Till' today, the feeling still haunts me whenever I listen to the songs.

There's this one song that I extremely hate (not by Jay Chou though), and the award to the worst song and the song I hate the most goes to:

童話 (Fairytale) which ain't a fairytale at all, coz the song gets overplayed by the local chinese radio station back in those days, and it sucks AND there's a story behind it, but then again, I mainly hate it coz the song gets overplayed and it hurts my ears to listen to it.

失意 (Despair?) and 如果你也聽説 (No idea how to translate this -__-) Both this song reminds me of cs. I get like deja vu whenever I listen to them.

Till today, I don't even know what's "our" song

So yes, end of a very long post ... take you for your time